Supermarket Shoppers Which One Am I?

Like most Mums I do my grocery shopping as a part of my routine. Whether it is online or in person, most mums have their routine down pat for doing the groceries.
Today I needed to pop to the shops for milk outside of my regular scheduled shop time and I am discovering, depending on the type of shopper you are, there is a time for you at the supermarket.
I got frustrated this morning because even though I was in only to get one thing I went into full Mum mode at 10:30 am on a Sunday morning. This did not suit the mood of the supermarket. Here is my list of supermarket shoppers. Guess which one is me. Which one are you?

The After school drop off:
This is somewhat a peaceful time to head to the shops. Either you have deposited all your offspring to school or kinder and are able to walk in at a normal pace and slow your thoughts down to actually take in your surroundings and grab a coffee to nurse as you wander about, or you have a little person joining you, a little person who you decide can have the little trolley and lead the way throughout the store. You have seemingly endless patience until your child assures you (quite forcefully) that they can steer the trolley on their own and before you know it you have almost taken out 6 pensioners just out for their morning stroll and biscuit run. You get to the self serve checkout and the little person wants to help scan the items and also remove and replace items from the bagging area causing the computer to lose its shit and constantly shout out for assistance and you and the poor bugger assigned to self serve checkouts that day become quite well acquainted as you apologise profusely and hope they understand rather than think this tiny person owns you.

The after work 5pm dash:
This is the I haven't planned dinner and need something quick shop. Usually the time when people in their suits or work uniforms go in with a mission of I NEED DINNER. Cooked chooks, jars of curry, ready meals, fish fingers and a sneaky block of chocolate to consume after the kids have gone to bed and The Bachelorette is on. Sometimes, some poor person made the decision to pick their preschooler or toddler up from daycare before shopping and has a fight at the squeezy yoghurt aisle because a) their kid just cannot decide which one to get or b) Mum said a yoghurt not a custard but the child is adamant that if it is in a squeezy pouch it IS a yoghurt and you are stuck in a vicious debate.

The Saturday party shopper: It is Saturday evening and you have a BBQ or a party to go to and you head in for essentials, chips, sausages, deli salads and so on. Anything that says party. You are quick and don't hang around too long except to quickly assess if there is a 2 for the price of one deal on all the items you need to purchase. This can be a fun trip with kids because you usually have your party pants on and say yes to that bag of snakes because you are ready to have a fun night and everyone leaves happy as the kids have their lollies and mum and dad have their wine and cheese.

The Sunday Straggler:
Mid morning these chillaxed shoppers (usually childless) take their time as they peruse the shelves. They take a big step back as though admiring a piece of art as they scan the shelves for that perfect brunch item or nibbles to accompany their Sunday sippers. They move slowly, not at a sloth pace but very mindfully and relaxed enjoying their time as they pick their Sunday fair. I hate them, because I want to be them,

The Sunday afternoon mum shop: 
This could be the busiest time in the supermarket. After a weekend full of sport, birthday parties, working bees, family gatherings and so forth at 3 pm Mum realises, "oh fuck, school is on this week and I have no bread or sandwich fillers, or dinner for the week." So she readies herself, scribbles down a shopping list containing, muesli bars, Tiny Teddies, ham, fruit, bread. She then negotiates with her husband which children to take and which to leave at home with him while he mows the lawns hoping that he will tell her he is happy to have the children stay with him as he tidies up the yard ( and hopefully the house too if you're lucky). Mum packs into the car, realises she forgot the enviro bags and lumbers on out to get the bags to the delight of the distraught toddler who is screaming at the window because mummy is leaving and never coming back (in his beautiful little mind) the tear soaked face is covered in delight arms open to welcome her embrace and then horror as she quickly grabs the forgotten bags slams the door and runs back to the car. As she pulls out of the driveway violins should be playing as the devastated child wails at the front window. Now depending on whether you have a child with you or not it can go one of two ways.

• No child, list in hand Mum powers her way through the aisles and navigating is easy because at this time (sunday 4pm) the supermarket is packed with other like minded shoppers. we are quick and efficient and have empathy for our peers who lost the leaving the children at home negotiations.You bump in to a familiar face or two and quickly exchange pleasantries as it is unsaid you both need to keep moving (although there is always 5 mins to flip through a magazine or two when you pass them).Without kids you enjoy methodically lining up your groceries on the register and giving death glares to the cashier as they completely mess up your well thought out system (unless your at ALDI). Usually you have planned tea for the week but not Sunday night (oops) so you grab a tray of sausages and a bag of convenience salads and microwave potatoes thinking you are the queen of convenience and hubby can chuck them on the BBQ on while you put the groceries away. all the while you have your hungry little ankle-biters whining about the level of hunger usually measured by how long they can let their whine linger "Im huuuuuuuungrrrrrrryyyyyyyy"

• Shopping with child or children in tow: you get in the car and negotiate who sits where, who gets to pick the music and you have to answer the whining of how long this trip will take and "no we will not be having Maccas for tea so don't ask me again." You get to the supermarket list in hand but you may as well burn it due to the extreme eye rolling and fake gagging coming from your children who would much rather fill the trolley with LCMs, Roll Ups and Cheezels.  Your children ask what is planned for tea this week you tell them and the complaints roll out, "can't we have this instead?" "I hate that dinner!" "You always make that its so boring!"  "    "I'm not eating that!" Ignoring these comments and sticking to your guns you get what is needed for tea that week but end up at the freezers stocking up on fish fingers, pizza and chicken nuggets "just in case" they won't eat whats on offer when truly you will just chuck the oven on and put on the first thing you grab to save an argument. Getting to the checkout and the kids are so excited to "help" they start grabbing everything they can, squashing the bread, bruising the apples and unsealing yoghurt in the process. You guide the trolley to the car with your brood and are astonished none of you caused a mass trolley pile up in the car park. You get Maccas on the way home for tea.

So there you have my list of supermarket shoppers. I am certain there are more out there, but this was my list and experiences. I would love to hear yours and also which one are you?

Happy shopping guys!

Fi x

That time I did an Adventure Race (a short one)

So earlier this year I recieve a text from my friend Jo with the link to a womens only sprint adventure race with Adventure Junkie
I had my knee surgery a few months prior and still getting my bearings but doing ok. I decide to say yes and so we partnered up.
The race was a 2 km Kayak, 5 km Run, 1 km orienteering, 10 km bike ride.
I got a bike for my birthday so this was the perfect opportunity to really break her in!
Our local lake was doing weekly kayak hire with Canoeing Victoria and this is where our training began. This was so much fun, once we got the hang of how to paddle we were good!

First time on the water

Sunday was kayak day, we got some awesome weather until one Sunday it was 11c and pouring. So we had to borrow the thermals from the hire people. Thing is they only had small sizes and we got on to a smashing start when I tried to sit down in my kayak and heard an almighty RIP coming from my rear. I could not stop laughing. You know the laughing where there is no noise, you can't breath and all your emotion is coming out in tears. I think that was one of my favourite training sessions because after we were done, soaking from the rain we went our separate ways, I got home and into the shower and under a blanket to snuggle with my babies.

As the weeks went on we trained, going for bike rides and out for a run. I struggled with the running due to suffering Achilles tendinitis and I am grateful for the patience that my partner Jo showed me in my moments of pain where I just could not run for the pain.

Training never seemed like a chore and was a great time for us to bond and build our friendship.

Race Day. March in Melbourne is always lovely and we got a lovely day. 1st leg was the Kayaks and we are hit with our first challenge. The 2 person kayak. See, we had only used a single person kayak and while in theory we were prepared there was one part of the kayak we weren't prepared for. The rudder, in our case the malfunctioning rudder. Which ever way we paddled, it wanted to take us a different way! Being in the back of the kayak it was my job to steer the rudder instead I drew my feet away and used my paddle to steer. Once we had that figured out we were good.
Now, if you have never done an Adventure Race like me, it may surprise you to know there are check in points all through the course. Trying to check in on a kayak is a challenge, especially with 20 other kayaks around you and you are starting to float under a jetty and doing your best not to capsize as you lean over to scan your tag at the check point.

We lost a fair bit of time in the kayak leg but it really was quite the strategic challenge in the sense of "how the hell do we get out of this marsh we are currently bogged in", we made our time back surprisingly in the run. I was able to go in short bursts for a time before having to walk it out and then run again. I have strong legs and can push out a good sprint when I need to.

Once we got through our run the cycling was next, we got our bikes and set off in the wrong direction. It's OK though because the other teams were so supportive and especially in the bike leg everyone was helping everyone as we tried to find all the checkpoints. One thing we were not expecting in the bike section was all the hills, so many steep hills. My tip for getting up those bad boys aside from hopping off and walking is to shout your head off, and swear a lot! After the race I heard on the radio that this is actually a fact and I can wholeheartedly say that it works, because I made it up the biggest most steepest hill of the lot in one good go!

The orienteering was the bit where I followed my partner Jo and just made sure I was keeping up.

Crossing the finish line was a great feeling I was elated and so proud of both of us.

This race took me back to a time when I was a kid and did stuff because it was fun. Somewhere along the line I became so self conscious of what people think of me for how I looked and the things I do. Striking up this friendship with Jo and her enthusiasm to try things and rope me in for the ride is really cool, There really is no pressure from her but when she says she wants to do something, most of the time I think "yes I want to do that too!"
Doing this race was not about being the fastest or the strongest, it was about trying something new and having some fun. I got out in the fresh air, I  moved my body and I had a really good time with my friend. I am looking forward to doing more things like this in the future. I am doing Tough Mudder with my husband in October and yes I am very nervous but also excited at the same time.

Doing this race has shown me that even though I am a grown up now there are so many things in life to experience just for the fun of it! Get out there and do something that makes you think "that would be fun" you will not regret it 

Big Thanks to my friend Jo for asking me to join her!

Fi 

x

Using a visual to understand anxiety

Away on a fun weekend with old family friends. We started the tradition before all of us had kids and now we have many children in our little group.
As my friend and I sit on the last day in a quiet room. The rest of our group and the children have gone for a walk along the beach. We have done our packing and relish in the brief silence us Mums rarely encounter. I like this about my friend, we can comfortably be silent. As we rest in the peace, she asks me how our daughter is going with her anxiety. My friend is a clinical psychologist and is a great support on the topic of our daughter's anxiety. Whilst we actively seek professional help, she always has some helpful suggestions on how we can support our wee girl.

She asked me if she has ever show me her "diagram" on how she explains anxiety to patients witg anxiety. I said no she hasn't and so she begins to explain.

Holding up her hand with a closed fist she points to her wrist.
This is the root of our brain
At this stage we need the basics here protection, shelter, safety.

Next she opens up her hand exposing her palm. In our palm is where our emotions are they are developing as we go into toddler-hood and have tantrums, experience separation anxiety etc. This is pure emotions in this palm.

She then begins to close her fingers one by one over her palm. This is logic developing. This takes into the teen years in which to develop and as it does so, places a lid over the emotions.

When someone experiences anxiety the lid (logic) has popped off allowing the emotional state to completely take over.

How do we settle this emotional state? We have to go back to the root. Back to basics. Protection, safety, shelter.

When my daughter has episodes of extreme anxiety I have become anxious myself, panicked even angry. None of these reactions helped the situation.

After seeing her psychologist she advised that I just hold her in these moments. Just hold her as long as she needs.

As I spoke with my friend she nods and adds that stroking her arms, a hand to the forehead any nurturing touch. Those who suffer anxiety very commonly will rope their arms around themselves or place their on hand on the forehead unconsciously seeking this comfort.

The explanation of how the brain works in anxiety has really helped in how I respond to my daughter and also my son who is 3 and requires the same support as he goes through his toddler-hood.

Encouraging my daughter to tap into logic is where we are at. For example she lost her class at school one morning as all the lines  were making their way to classrooms. It was busy and overwhelming for her. As she is in Grade 2 she is familiar with the school so I gave her 2 options to think of if she finds herself lost.
#1: she heads to her classroom
#2: if her class room is empty she goes to the office. She knows where is it and that there will always be someone there who can help her.
We went over these together and I got her to say it back to me and we touch back on it from time to time.

I hope this helps someone out there. It is horrible to see your child with an internal struggle and we all want to do our best to support them.

Fi
X

A day at The Village Play Cafe

Monday rolls around, it is school holidays and a day where I really do not have anything planned. This is a mistake today, my children are in need of some entertainment and as I nurse a possible ear infection and cannot see a doctor until tomorrow I search my brain for an idea of what to do, ignoring my children and their heckles that I take them to soft play centre. The weather seems OK for the beginning of July but my idea of visiting a zoo is put aside by that fact it is almost 11 am it will take an hour to get there, I have no food in the house to pack a picnic and the budget conscious part of me poo poos that idea because I refuse to fork out money for food I know they won't eat and also I don't fancy offering them hot chips as a complete meal AGAIN.

Anyhoo I googled kid friendly places to have lunch and there was a great list of cafes to take your kids to, all of them as I scrolled down the list were just that bit too far for us to drive ( in other words I could't be stuffed with a longish drive). I scrolled on and saw The Little Village Play Cafe, not too far and I have heard of it and always wanted to check it out so today was the day! I called my mum and she was keen to come along too.

When we arrived it was pretty quiet although we discovered earlier in the day had been quite busy. Walking through the door you see a bright crisp space, lots of tables to sit at and beyond those, a little village for the children to play in. We were able to choose a table to sit at, although I would recommend booking as I think we were rather lucky it was a quiet moment.The children immediately made for the play village and I approached the counter to get some menus. There is a charge for the children over the age of 12 months to play at the cafe but compared to some play centres I have been to I found the cost fairly reasonable.

The menu is simple and sweet, the small kitchen at the front of the cafe has a display of various turkish bread sandwiches with meat and meat free options, and salad too. There is also an impressive selection of slices, cookies and muffins! The options for children are so good, still a bit of a treat menu but not a chip or chicken nugget in sight! My 2 both had a smoothie each consisting of milk, fruit and honey and they are served in cute little child size mason jars. The kids loved them, my wee man downed his almost in one go,  My daughter had a ham and cheese croissant and for the picky bird like eater she is, she ate the whole thing and further to my surprise used a knife and fork to do so. My son ordered the raisin toast as he was hungry before we left the house and had already eaten a banana and a peanut butter sandwich. He was more than happy to have a good play instead!

The set up at The Little Village Play Cafe is so wonderful that it encourages children to engage in imaginary play and opportunities for social engagement in a safe and very pleasant environment. The Village has it's own Fire Station which doubles as a fire truck with it's 2 steering wheels, a grocery store where you will find all you need to stock up your pantry and you will always have a very helpful cashier working the till even if they are quite short. There is a tool shop for the handy fixer upper types, a hospital for those who need looking after, human, doll or animal. There is a cake shop perfect for the avid baker and a generous selection of dress ups in the Boutique for the children to become whoever they wish to be. At the back is a quiet little nook for reading and at the front near the tables a spot for the small children to play on a mat with access to toy shelves and bead frames secured to the wall which was very cool.

The Little Village Play Cafe also has shopping opportunities beautifully displayed, baby items, pampering things like face masks and lip balms, jewellery, tea and childrens clothing. Some of the baby items were so cute I even contemplated adding to my brood. Mum talked me out of that one! But in all seriousness there are some really lovely gift ideas in there for mums and young children at great prices.

We spent nearly 2 hours in The Little Village Play Cafe, I got to chat with my Mum, have a yummy lunch, two hot beverages and play with my kids in an environment that was stress free and so different to the typical play centres that are high energy, there is a really calm vibe about the cafe. The staff were incredibly polite and were great to chat to as well.

We left feeling refreshed and relaxed which is not something I think I have EVER said or felt after taking my kids out to have some lunch, either they are having a ball in some noisy place or they are bored and whiny if it is somewhere I would prefer to go. The Little Village Play Cafe provided the best of both worlds.

So if you are in the outer eastern suburbs of Melbourne and you have little kids that need a play and you need a chill out I highly recommend The Little Village Play Cafe!

Facebook : The Little Village Play Cafe
Instagram: @thelittlevillageplaycafe
Opening Hours: Monday - Friday 9:30 - 3:30


Where are your fave places to take the kids out for a lunch date?

Fi xx

Getting Back on Track after Knee Surgery Part 3

6 weeks post op and I am cleared to start some of my physio and also get in the hydrotherapy pool. I am not a real lover of the water but spending time in the hydro pool has changed that a bit as this was my opportunity to get out of the house (finally clear to drive!) and have some time to myself that wasn't confined to the couch!
I was given simple things to do, beginning with increasing my knee's range of motion back to it's normal state, so that involved some walking in the pool, cycling my legs in the water and gentle kicking up and back the pool too. This was my first full body activity since the day I threw my knee out and it felt good to get moving and the water made such a help to how I was feeling and I was working harder than what I felt I was.

Going in the pool I was nervous and to be honest it was busy, "old people soup" I called it and to be honest I don't know why more people do not take advantage of this wonderful resource to help you get moving.
I wasn't ready to get back in the gym as I needed to avoided twisting and other movements so the pool was really my only outlet for movement. I really looked forward to going to the pool because of the opportunity to switch off and not talk to anyone and by the time I got home I was refreshed and just felt good! My Dad has been singing the praises of the hydro pool for well over a decade now as he has had back issues for some time, he is quite a fit man at the ripe age of 61 and has maintained an excellent level of fitness thanks to his pool work.

I was getting bored just doing my physio although necessary, I really needed something extra and the pool have water dumbbells available for the members to use. With the dumbbells I was able to utilise them to do some arms, shoulders and chest work. Adding this in really upped the intensity of my time in the pool and I felt like I was doing some decent work along with my knee rehab. Each day I was feeling a difference with my knee and minor improvements each and every day. I was going to the pool so much that I got myself an aquatic membership saving me heaps of money. A few weeks on my physio had me adding load onto my knee out of the water this time. Prior to this I was doing things like squats in the water as it made me feel lighter and I could get a wider range of motion and a deeper squat.

I extended my membership to be an unlimited one and was able to use the gym and add load to my knee using the machines ("load is king" my physio says). This was great as using free weights took much of the focus away from my knee so using the machines really helped me isolate what I needed to work on. He also had me doing stability work using a Bosu Ball and I loved the exercises so much I bought my own.

I began getting back into gym training in the new year going to classes that were for beginners so I could go at my own pace, such as getting up and down off the floor very, very, very, very slowly. Like a very drunk toddler finding her feet. It was great training with other people again and having a laugh in class, because it is almost impossible for me to get through a group session without a fit of the giggles.

During this time and even up until the present day I am still figuring out the training that is right for me. I did go back to kickboxing classes but avoided leg work (so I guess it was just boxing) but while I enjoyed the training, it just didn't feel right and I really enjoyed the strength training more so that is what I stuck with. I got a bike for my birthday on Boxing Day after the surgery and I really have enjoyed getting on the bike and riding the bike paths and trails, this becoming another peaceful outlet for me such as the pool had been. The bike also became an icebreaker to a new adventurous opportunity and expanded a friendship that I will write about another time.

Basically this year (2017) has been about how I learn what my body can do, what training I find mentally beneficial and what I can do that will ensure I am not in pain during training and also my everyday life. I really believe that it is so important to move your body but not to the detriment of your everyday life. Currently my knee is really good but I have lost some range and can no longer kneel my bum onto my heels and I can feel the scar tissue where I still have some restriction. All that aside I am not afraid of just moving, my knee locked out in so many different situations that I was unaware of when it would happen next. Training being the most obvious moments but even sitting at the dinner table or rolling over in bed did it. I no longer have this fear and it is very freeing and I am aware of my limitations where as before it was all guess work.


I hope you enjoyed my story

Fi x

Getting Back on Track After Knee Surgery Part 2

Getting back to normal life after the surgery was going to take some time and I spent much of my time watching the world go by.

For about a week after the operation my appetite was minimal but following that I had a regular appetite, I was concerned about gaining weight but not so much in a vanity sense as it was in the sense that I didn't want to have to focus on both weight management and rehab as I knew my ability to exercise for the time being was affected along with my usual day to day activities. That being said I made the decision to reduce my carbohydrate intake because of my reduced energy expenditure.

Well that was my thought but I did not take into account the amount of energy it would zap from me to do this meal prep I had planned. Getting around the kitchen on one leg was an effort but I managed, just very slowly until I had the idea of using the office chair on wheels. I wheeled around that kitchen like a boss! Also all the effort to meal prep was actually really good as it reduced the amount of work it took me to get a meal organised and cleaned up especially for times I was alone, and I am not very good at asking for help.

Moving around was hard and I was noticing the difficulty more and more especially since my legs were noticeably different sizes. Sitting on the side of my bed I bend my left leg back and forth and then compare it with the right and I have a long way to do as it moves stiffly and begins to shake as I get it to bend further.

The few weeks post op definitely took it's toll on us as a family, I am the main homemaker and do pretty much all the bits and bobs around the house (not garden unless it's ripping out bushes or something). Sitting back and watching my husband attempt to take on the work was hard, I wanted to guide him but also hold my tongue as he did things his way, it was such a challenge as I wanted to be grateful for him pitching in but at the same time wanting it done my way.

I learnt so much about letting go during this time and understanding that as long as the main priorities were sorted, our kids clean, fed and happy, food in the fridge clean clothes for school and work we can manage all the other stuff and will get done as it is needed. I have held onto this right up to the present day and it has made a big impact on how I priorities things. I can also ask someone else to do a job and not feel so consumed by how well it was done but being happy it was getting done and my time was free to get on with other things.

Requesting things got annoying sitting with my feet up asking for a cup of tea and items to be brought to me. The most unusual was "Honey can you please hold my foot". My foot got so cold!! I called the surgeon's office a number of times about this and the nurses were great gave me things to look out for so it was all good. Not comfortable though as my foot got so cold it hurt. 

This was about 6 weeks but it went quick as I had a few things going on. I hosted a screening of Embrace The Documentary for The Body Image Movement and it was great to keep myself busy promoting that and when the big night came talking to the people who came along about the wonderful initiative of positive body image. The timing was perfect as I avoided being frustrated with myself and limitations (although temporary) thanks to the wonderful messages this movie sends out. 

This part of my recovery was the most mentally challenging as I felt like there was not much to distract me apart from organising the movie screening. Doing nothing or not much is incredibly demotivating especially when the things you want to do are things you are not able to do. But I knew it wasn't permanent and that was the silver lining.

Thanks for reading 

Part 3 to come
Click here for Part 1

Fi 

x

Big leg, Little leg

All the wonderful attendees for Embrace

Sitting out, feeling the boredom.

Doing my best to be ok with the mess!

Having Knee Surgery & Getting Back On Track After Surgery Part 1

Waiting to be admitted with my Hubby and Dad

Last August I had emergency knee surgery. For a number of years I was experiencing quite a lot of difficulty with my right knee. It kept locking out under all sorts of circumstances and I would have to pop it back into place, some times it was more painful than others and as time went on every lock out took longer to unlock. I had an MRI at the request of my physio and nothing was found. A year later I was at a kickboxing class and was practicing some kicks with the instructor when it locked out stayed locked out. I am not sure how long I was on the ground before I was eventually able to get in a car to the hospital but it was a good while.

Waiting in the Emergency Department, very boring and anxious time

I am the worst injured person, I am loud, I complain and I just don't like it! Once I got to the hospital I saw the Dr. in the ED and he admitted me saying I will need surgery and upon looking at it was a possible knee fracture. This was Thursday night. My surgery was booked in for Saturday. I was stuck in a big knee brace, uncomfortable and in pain. Yes I know play the violins, and pass the Endone!
I was able to use a walker to get around but not very much as the brace on my leg was heavy and my hip was aching too, whilst being careful not to move too suddenly and hurt my knee.

Up and about pre surgery

My MRI was booked in Friday afternoon and that was very uncomfortable as I had to remove the brace and lie in a position that really hurt. My surgeon came to see me and turns out I did not have fracture but had torn the meniscus (a thin fibrous cartilage between the surface of some joints, such as the knee). The reason it was not picked up in the first MRI was because it was a Bucket Handle Tear, when my knee is locked the tear is open, when it is fine the tear is closed and undetectable. The fact I could not unlock my knee was a blessing in disguise as I finally knew what was going on all these years.

There was two options, to cut out the meniscus or repair it. The surgeon said I have healthy knees and he would like to repair it rather than cut it out. So that was that, the next day I would have my first ever surgery.

Unfortunately I was by myself the day of the surgery as my daughter had a sporting event that day and that is where everyone would be. My husband and family were upset they couldn't be there with me but I said I would rather they go cheer on our girl and even though I was nervous I was more upset I was missing out on watching her and felt as though I was letting her down #mumguilt.

I became incredibly anxious being wheeled into theatre and the hospital staff were very reassuring, I was given a wonderful dose of something to calm me down and then I closed my eyes. Upon waking I just remember saying "OW" but not necessarily feeling any pain but I was given something straightaway for the pain, and then felt cold and the recovery ward nurses ( Such nice people!) padded me up with warmed blankets from head to toe, so cosy I will never forget that feeling of cosy!

The first thing that I noticed that was aside from the direct operating site I was not in any pain and I for the first time in years, from my hip down felt fine! Of course I  was tender post op but I already felt the benefit of the surgery.

Home and feet up. Like my socks?

I was able to go home on the Sunday afternoon once I had been able to show the doctors I could be mobile on crutches and they checked I could get up and down stairs safely. Instead of going to my house I went and stayed at my Mum's for a couple of nights as I was able to get adequate rest while I was there. I feel very fortunate I was able to do this. The Olympics also had a week to go so I wasn't stuck with traditional day time TV thank goodness. It just isn't the same without Oprah.
I was left with some very simple exercises from the physio and was not allowed to bend my knee beyond 90 degrees ( I couldn't even get it to do so!!)
The physio exercises although simple really tested me and I found them so difficult, but I had to remember I am in a weakened state and these are necessary, even the weight of a blanket on my foot caused pain. I tried to get up and moving around as much as I could but tried to take it easy too, I had an event to plan and execute a few weeks after and that took a lot of my time and energy, shortly after I got sick and had to rest up.

I am going to leave this here for now and will post Part 2 soon, all about how I went with rehab and returned to training. Hope you enjoyed reading

Fi

x

Becoming a Mum. Overwhelming and so very confusing!

Were you so overwhelmed when you became a mum?? I was. I was surprised by how overwhelmed I was. When I had my first child at 23 I had already been working full time in childcare since I was 18. My career in Childcare came by accident and I was immediately good at it ( yep toot toot, totally blowing my horn here)

Anyway, I spent so much of my career up to the point of heading off for maternity leave helping and advising parents on how to care for their children. From routines, to separation, sleep, mealtimes and play and learning. I was so confident in my practice and knowledge and always learning ( still am).

When I had my daughter, the nurses in my hospital when they found out my profession took a "you know what your doing attitude". Don't get me wrong they were helpful, the only thing that I wasn't assisted on was breastfeeding (I had no idea). But they didn't hold my hand through those first few days with bub. I don't know if this is normal but this is how I felt and a few did actually say to me "you'll know what you're doing with your background"

Fast forward to being at home and I clearly remember my Mum coming over first thing in the morning and me still in my dressing gown cuddling my little girl. She smiled at us and said "how are you?" I started bawling!! I was so shell shocked and started ranting to her about "How dare I tell other parents how to raise their kids I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING!"

Looking back on that now I have a laugh to myself, but I seriously believed I was a total fraud!

What you do not expect as a new mum is that smack in the face emotional connection you get from this tiny bub. It affects your decision making, how you view the world, how you react to other people and what they say and do. The birth of motherhood is an emotional awakening, for some it is euphoric and wonderful for others it is scary and daunting. For me it was like a panic, a place between logic and love. All I had learned and knew about babies and children was from that of an objective outsider, not a mother. I was that calming third party reassuring parents and guiding them, who then became the anxious mother herself.

This is now of a benefit to me as I return to work, I have a new empathy and understanding for what parents go through. I have made new friends through parenthood exposing me to different family dynamics.

I guess the point of this post is that it is perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed, shocked and out of place when you first begin parenthood. Because emotionally you will never be prepared for it no matter how much knowledge you have and that is totally OK. As time passes you are faced with new challenges and will quite often feel overwhelmed. Finding your support network can help, somewhere you can be totally honest with how you are going without the fear of judgement. I believe we all want the best for our children and that we do make mistakes trying to figure out what that is.

Be kind to yourself, be kind to others and have your best intentions at heart. You'll be fine x

Fi x

Ready to Return to Work

I have two children 7 and 3. When I was pregnant with number one I was all starry eyed about being the perfect stay at home Mum, cooking, cleaning and doing fun activities with my kids, This as I discovered, couldn't be less me. For one I actually had no idea how to cook anything other than French Toast. Cleaning I was good at ( my Mum may argue otherwise but I am happy with my standards). The pressure to do fun activities with my kids both creative and social took me on a wild ride of shame and anxiety that I just couldn't bear!

When I went back to work round one, my girl was 14 months old and I jumped in 4 days a week ready to progress in my career. Boy was I in trouble. As much as I wanted to do well in my career I still wanted to be that perfect mum at home and maintain a routine for my little baby girl. I struggled for over a year denying to myself the fact I wasn't coping and the cracks opened slowly but surely. My judgement was compromised and I was so tired. I didn't have a plan, financial reasons aside I didn't have a true purpose for returning to work and it affected me and drained me. It all came to a head when we bought our first home and I had a proper meltdown as we were moving in. I handed in my resignation and took a break for a few months.

Round 2 came about when I returned to working only a few days on an on call basis, the money was good and I could dictate my hours, but I didn't belong anywhere. I am the kind of person who needs to belong somewhere be a part of a team and this type of work just didn't suit me. I was completely void of any motivation and was just going through the motions.

I began to look for something permanent part time but I just didn't have any luck finding somewhere that I felt I belonged or fitted in with my own philosophies. I stuck it out at an average job for about 6 months and then was to surprised to find I was pregnant with our second child. The whirlwind of pregnancy number two began and I wound up collapsing one day at the shops and deemed unfit to work by my GP.

I had my son in the October and life with 2 children began. I wanted to make more of an effort to get out into the world and in the following March I went to Mums n Bubs fitness classes, something I had no idea about when I had our girl and really wish I did. This became a great incentive for me to get organised for the morning and get out the house.  It was something I wanted to do and I looked forward to it. As time passed the gym I trained at needed a childcare worker and I put my hand up, the hours were short and manageable and in a place I already felt I belonged and would be supported. My perspective on work changed from there and for 3 and a bit years I worked looking after children at the gym and also gaining my fitness certification. It was fun to learn about something new that has always been a hobby of mine. I began working as a group fitness instructor as well as looking after the kids in the gym and I was really enjoying myself. After a while I felt like something was missing.

On outings I would over hear staff mainly in the shops or cafes talking about their day and who was on what break next, you know general work chit chat and starting to REALLY miss my old job of working in a long daycare. I began to make a plan! How many days could I do to enjoy myself, make it financially worthwhile and get some progression in my career? I decided 3 days was the magic number and also set my hours firm to suit me. I began applying, due to the limitations of my working availability it did take a few months but I ended up finding employment. Once I accepted the offer I became anxious, questioning whether I can do this and how to make it work. My worries were all about the fear of burnout, my kids getting overtired, and becoming grumpy all the time. I made the decision if this did happen as a family we regroup and form a new strategy.

So it has been almost 2 months now and we have all hit the wall of fatigue whilst we adjust to the new schedule, we have all had some time home sick, have come full circle and I believe things are going OK. I actually look forward to going to work, I am enjoying myself and have already made some progression in my job which is awesome.

I am mindful to be kind to the kids in the evening, they don't feel like eating a traditional dinner on our late nights so as long as they eat and eat with a bit of balance, enjoy their evening and go to bed happy, then I am happy.

So my tips from what I have learned in my own life would be:

• Analyse your reasons for going back to work, if it is a financial goal, a professional goal, to have a break from being home or to start a new career. Having a goal or incentive will help you enjoy your time in the workforce and bring value to what you are doing.                                      
• Really think about the hours and days you want to work and how that will fit into your current lifestyle and other family members. My hours meant our eldest goes to after school care, something I was reluctant to do but has been alright so far.

• Don't over commit yourself. Don't offer 5 days if your are unsure start small and add on as you go if you think you can manage

• Don't over stress being the perfect homemaker, make dinner easy on work nights, use the slow cooker, batch cook, or just do sandwiches fruit and yoghurt. Fed kids are happy kids but this by no means says you have to have a roast on the table every night. We save our big cooked dinners for Friday through Monday 

• Look after yourself. do little things that help you switch off and reboot each day. Personally I like to read. I get cosy with my book and just disappear for a while. 

Leave me a comment below on your experiences or over on my Instagram @findingfiforme I would love to hear how you made the return to work work for your family or if you are thinking about doing so!

Fi x

REVIEW: Toddler Life By The Sleep Mama

Over the last few months I began following Kylie Camps aka The Sleep Mama on Instagram and Snap Chat. As I have mentioned in the past I keep my Snap Chat following small as it takes up a lot of time but Kylie's Snaps are on my top watch list. Kylie is a Sleep Consultant with a variety of sleep programs to help teach babies and toddlers to sleep. I have not used Kylie's program for sleep but she has a long list of positive testimonials from very happy families. 
This week The Sleep Mama released "Toddler Life" a comprehensive tool for parents of toddlers on how to handle those turbulent and confusing times. As a mother of a 3 year old and also an Early Childhood Professional for coming up 14 years I was very excited to read this guide, also Kylie's obvious passion and excitement for it's release was rather infectious. If you follow Kylie (The Sleep Mama) on Snap Chat you will know she has a passion for parenting and how intentional, kind and educated parenting can benefit entire families. Enter Toddler Life.

Upon purchasing the guide, a digital download, it was easy to delve straight in. Kylie has designed a beautiful looking guide, don't be fooled, it may be pretty but it is also so smart and to the point!

Toddler Life has been endorsed by Child Psychologist Funda Yolal described as filling in "the missing pieces" for parents in raising their toddlers. I personally believe that having sent this to be read over by such a well respected specialist displays the confidence Kylie has for her guide and it's content. 

Toddler Life is written by a Parent for Parents which brings a sense of comfort like you're chatting with a friend you need advice from. Kylie explains in a non patronising manner the brain development of young children, gently reminding us that when we deal with toddlers we are not dealing with a person who has a fully developed adult brain but a developing brain and how the environment we create for our toddlers is so important for positive emotional and cognitive development.

Toddler Life encourages you to start "expecting your toddler to act like a toddler" probably one of the most sound pieces of parenting advice I have heard in a long while. 
Kylie has addressed all the major points of life with a toddler. All the things that have you wondering "what the hell am I doing??" "Am I doing this right??" 
Covering meltdowns, tantrums, discipline, dropping day sleeps, playtime and choosing daycare.
This guide will help you feel more confident in navigating the more hairy areas of parenting a toddler and identifies causes of symptoms such as an overtired (cause) toddler having a tantrum (symptom). Being a parent is so emotional and Kylie's clear and concise explanations will help you to think clearly in relation to dealing with your toddler

Toddler life provides parents with factual information in regards to the development of young children from proven studies, some of this information I recall from my own Early Childhood Studies and I believe including this information really helps to have a general understanding of The Toddler from a developmental point of view prior to taking their individual personalities into account which is also covered.

Kylie has invited her husband Matt to contribute his own point of view to the guide this provides parents with an alternate perspective and window into Kylie and Matt's personal parenting journey and reminds us that we may differ from our partners in chosen parenting style but we share a common goal in wanting the best for our children and our relationships. His input also reminds us of the importance of taking time for yourself and allowing your partner to do the same without the attitude of being "owed" the time but in a bid to better prepare you for each step of your parenting journey together. Some really great advice in there!

Toddler Life covers communication both receptive and expressive and how the way we communicate to our toddlers can greatly impact how our time is spent with them. I love how this guide values the importance of communication.

Toddler Life is not a hugely thick manual on how to raise your child but a guide that covers all the points that parents seem to be scrambling for information on. The beauty of Toddler Life is in it's simplicity. It is straight to the point giving a clear outline of typical toddler development and behaviour with tools on how to recognise and handle situations for what I believe is for a wide variation of families. This is not a strict program but a guide that provides you with the information and basic tools to raise your toddler while still having your own core values in place to suit your family's individuality. 

I am so very glad I have purchased this, as an Early Childhood Professional this is all knowledge I have learned and developed from my work and training, but as a parent it's a totally different game. My emotions are involved, I am biased and I am raising my children with my husband where we can differ in our opinions. We both get tired and stressed out and as a result we parent for the short term out of the sheer convenience of a quick result. The tips in this guide are full of common sense and they DO work if you commit to them and parent with intent and help you aim for long term results.

This guide will help families I have absolutely no doubt about that. With Kylie's philosophy surrounding kind parenting and parenting with intent you are sure to do your child such a huge favour by setting them up for success and nurturing their emotional well being at a very influential time in their lives. I also believe this guide will help adults to cope in stressful situations not just in parenting but in life in general encouraging you too see things from the toddler's point of view will encourage empathy.

So if you are approaching toddler hood or are in thick of it I highly recommend purchasing Toddler Life. You can always go back to it when you need to and you also will have access to a forum connecting you with so many other parents in the toddler game and their own Early Childhood Proffessional. 

Big thanks to Kylie at The Sleep Mama for creating this fantastic resource that supports and encourages parents to be the best they can be. Thanks for lifting us up and being a safe and supportive resource for parents, we all want the best for our kids!

Fi 
xx

BYE BYE TV **KIND OF**

Over the course of the summer I noticed something a little disturbing. My children and their reliance on the television.
Granted my daughter broke her arm on New Years Day and also has grommets recently put in a lot of our regular summer activities were put to a stop. So I will admit I became incredibly lenient with my allowance of screen time.

A most usual sight in our home

Not sure what triggered me but it could have been an awakening or I was just so incredibly bored, I removed the TV from the living area.
Now I did not do this hastily or as an act of discipline. I spoke to my husband who was unsure of my idea as it involved me also removing 3 large pieces of furniture from the area so I could create a family play room.
The first step was to clear up the area, next move the TV out of the way. I photographed furniture and listed it on Buy and Sell pages. My husband got nervous at this point "what if you want to use that furniture?"
I pointed to the dining table with junk on top of it and 2 storage boxes that are empty. these were the contents of one of the shelving units. A large shelving unit was holding very little and I was able to find a new home for these items, a very important thing to take into account if you plan to get rid of furniture.
Which brought me to the next painful step. Sorting through the clutter (groan). Although painful it is important, figuring out what I want to keep, what I need/want and what can be let go of.

About to sort through the crap. Let me have a cry first.

I shifted the couches in the room so they face each other and placed a new shelf under the window. So the intention of this space is to not only give my kids a place to play but all of us as a family. A place to sit and read, play games and just hang out.
Immediately as the space began to come together the kids wanted to get in there. Of course I made them stay away while I worked my magic and enjoyed the experience. While our son napped my parents took our daughter out for a while and that helped move things along a bit.
As apprehensive as my husband was at the beginning,during a coffee break we sat on the couches in the space and he said straight away how he likes the feel of the space. It felt lighter. Yes I removed big items but not having the TV in the room that we consider the hub of our home has changed the overall vibe.

Couches rearranged, new shelf in place, vacuum cleaner showing off by being front and centre.

Whats on the shelves? Each child has a top and bottom section. 2 cubbies are for books, the shelves were crammed with books before so I have reduced them to a select amount and the rest are on another book shelf out of the way and can be rotated from time to time.
the next cubby has a basket for games or toys, at the moment my son has shown an interest in jigsaw puzzles and so I bought them both a new pack of puzzles at Kmart and put them in the baskets. Last Cubby is for games. I am excited to start adding to our games and have a fun collection for us to enjoy as a family. Currently we have Uno, Trouble, Uno Stacko, and Sorts. I am on the look out for games my 3 year old can play. Hungry Hungry Hippos sounds like a good one. up until recently we had mine from the late 80s but it was too delicate to play a spirited game!
On top of the shelves is a Logitech iPod dock that we have an old phone in connected to Spotify. Our daughter loves music and is our resident DJ. When the TV was in the area the music and TV would be competing with each other, or she would disappear to her room to listen to her music. Now we can enjoy it together. I can play my terrible taste in music, Hubby can "educate" our children and our kids can play "can't stop the feeling" by Justin Timberlake over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

Simple, although plenty of engaging activities

So I haven't made over the room styling wise but we do plan to paint and replace the carpet in that space and either cover or change the couches. Our house is in need of a full reno but that is not on the cards so a little spruce here and there is all we can do right now.
At the moment FUNCTION is more important than style. We need to be certain of the way we have the space will work for us, so far our attitude towards it is really positive and we are on the same page as parents on this one. Down the track I will start to make it look nicer but function first. 
So where did the TV go????

That's me bottom left,Hi! 

I has actually gone to our bedroom. I know it seems to not be the best place but we want to give it a go and so far I LOVE IT! The way I see it is we have removed the TV from our regular living space and replaced it with engaging activities that can be done solo, in pairs or a group. Activities that promote play and curiosity and teamwork.
It is in the part of the home where I cook, fold washing and do several different tasks that I mindfully engage myself in ( at least I'd like to think so).
Watching TV has been reallocated from an everyday mindless activity, to something a bit more special. TV has not been restricted but merely taken away from the forefront, out of sight out of mind. My son and I enjoyed a short stint of Thomas and Friends the other morning, 20 mins snuggled together in bed before breakfast. I can't wait to do it again!

So how did our kids react that first morning without their beloved box of characters?
Our 3 year old son was a bit teary it is safe to say but once we had that 20 minutes snuggling in the bed watching Thomas he was ok and ready to have some breakfast at the table (not on the couch in front of the TV). As I mentioned earlier he is getting into puzzles and that is what he decided he wanted to do. I will tell you it was kind of relaxing sipping my morning coffee and helping him with his puzzle. Our 7 year old daughter was overall alright with the change and happy she could still have control of the music, on went her fave playlist and out came her dolls.

Morning Puzzles

What have I noticed so far?
A deeper sense of play that the children are able to carry themselves and develop without their attention waning.
Both are more willing to play with one another and are arguing a little bit less.
My daughter has mentioned how good their team work is about a thousand times.
Kids are not asking to watch TV, they are too busy. Winning!
While we have had guests (so far our parents) the TV is not on while our zombie like children stare into it, they are either somewhere playing or like the picture below playing around us, not being noisy but working beautifully together that several times we stopped our conversation to watch them play and talk to them. 

Playing and working so well together!

What will I miss?
Our daughter waking up and putting the TV on to watch a while so we can have sneaky sleep in until she bellows that she is hungry and must be served food immediately. I'll have a think on how we can still get the odd sleep in while our kids are occupied and get back to you there!

So while I am not banning TV I am removing it from the forefront of our lives. I love having it in our room as we have a chrome cast I can now watch you tube on the TV and also Netflix of course.
The morning snuggles on the weekend I think will be a fave of mine especially in the winter. 
 I remember growing up my parents had a TV in their room and we had 1 family TV. On a Saturday night I was allowed to stay up and watch "Hey Hey It's Saturday" and "Unsolved Mysteries" in their room while they watched "The Bill" and I always looked forward to it.
Some nights I would stay with my parents and to my Mum's delight get out the water spray, her hair mousse and accessories and be her hairdresser for the evening. I remember a  time when I was growing up and TV was a time to enjoy with the family or a treat that you got to stay up and watch your fave show. but I did it after a day of good solid play and that is what I want for my kids. 

Anyway so far so good, please if you have any questions on the post leave a comment or head to my Instagram account @findingfiforme

I'd love to know your thoughts or if you have done something similar or would like to try it in your household!