Today I needed to pop to the shops for milk outside of my regular scheduled shop time and I am discovering, depending on the type of shopper you are, there is a time for you at the supermarket.
I got frustrated this morning because even though I was in only to get one thing I went into full Mum mode at 10:30 am on a Sunday morning. This did not suit the mood of the supermarket. Here is my list of supermarket shoppers. Guess which one is me. Which one are you?
The After school drop off:
This is somewhat a peaceful time to head to the shops. Either you have deposited all your offspring to school or kinder and are able to walk in at a normal pace and slow your thoughts down to actually take in your surroundings and grab a coffee to nurse as you wander about, or you have a little person joining you, a little person who you decide can have the little trolley and lead the way throughout the store. You have seemingly endless patience until your child assures you (quite forcefully) that they can steer the trolley on their own and before you know it you have almost taken out 6 pensioners just out for their morning stroll and biscuit run. You get to the self serve checkout and the little person wants to help scan the items and also remove and replace items from the bagging area causing the computer to lose its shit and constantly shout out for assistance and you and the poor bugger assigned to self serve checkouts that day become quite well acquainted as you apologise profusely and hope they understand rather than think this tiny person owns you.
The after work 5pm dash:
This is the I haven't planned dinner and need something quick shop. Usually the time when people in their suits or work uniforms go in with a mission of I NEED DINNER. Cooked chooks, jars of curry, ready meals, fish fingers and a sneaky block of chocolate to consume after the kids have gone to bed and The Bachelorette is on. Sometimes, some poor person made the decision to pick their preschooler or toddler up from daycare before shopping and has a fight at the squeezy yoghurt aisle because a) their kid just cannot decide which one to get or b) Mum said a yoghurt not a custard but the child is adamant that if it is in a squeezy pouch it IS a yoghurt and you are stuck in a vicious debate.
The Saturday party shopper: It is Saturday evening and you have a BBQ or a party to go to and you head in for essentials, chips, sausages, deli salads and so on. Anything that says party. You are quick and don't hang around too long except to quickly assess if there is a 2 for the price of one deal on all the items you need to purchase. This can be a fun trip with kids because you usually have your party pants on and say yes to that bag of snakes because you are ready to have a fun night and everyone leaves happy as the kids have their lollies and mum and dad have their wine and cheese.
The Sunday Straggler:
Mid morning these chillaxed shoppers (usually childless) take their time as they peruse the shelves. They take a big step back as though admiring a piece of art as they scan the shelves for that perfect brunch item or nibbles to accompany their Sunday sippers. They move slowly, not at a sloth pace but very mindfully and relaxed enjoying their time as they pick their Sunday fair. I hate them, because I want to be them,
The Sunday afternoon mum shop:
This could be the busiest time in the supermarket. After a weekend full of sport, birthday parties, working bees, family gatherings and so forth at 3 pm Mum realises, "oh fuck, school is on this week and I have no bread or sandwich fillers, or dinner for the week." So she readies herself, scribbles down a shopping list containing, muesli bars, Tiny Teddies, ham, fruit, bread. She then negotiates with her husband which children to take and which to leave at home with him while he mows the lawns hoping that he will tell her he is happy to have the children stay with him as he tidies up the yard ( and hopefully the house too if you're lucky). Mum packs into the car, realises she forgot the enviro bags and lumbers on out to get the bags to the delight of the distraught toddler who is screaming at the window because mummy is leaving and never coming back (in his beautiful little mind) the tear soaked face is covered in delight arms open to welcome her embrace and then horror as she quickly grabs the forgotten bags slams the door and runs back to the car. As she pulls out of the driveway violins should be playing as the devastated child wails at the front window. Now depending on whether you have a child with you or not it can go one of two ways.
- No child, list in hand Mum powers her way through the aisles and navigating is easy because at this time (sunday 4pm) the supermarket is packed with other like minded shoppers. we are quick and efficient and have empathy for our peers who lost the leaving the children at home negotiations.You bump in to a familiar face or two and quickly exchange pleasantries as it is unsaid you both need to keep moving (although there is always 5 mins to flip through a magazine or two when you pass them).Without kids you enjoy methodically lining up your groceries on the register and giving death glares to the cashier as they completely mess up your well thought out system (unless your at ALDI). Usually you have planned tea for the week but not Sunday night (oops) so you grab a tray of sausages and a bag of convenience salads and microwave potatoes thinking you are the queen of convenience and hubby can chuck them on the BBQ on while you put the groceries away. all the while you have your hungry little ankle-biters whining about the level of hunger usually measured by how long they can let their whine linger "Im huuuuuuuungrrrrrrryyyyyyyy"
- Shopping with child or children in tow: you get in the car and negotiate who sits where, who gets to pick the music and you have to answer the whining of how long this trip will take and "no we will not be having Maccas for tea so don't ask me again." You get to the supermarket list in hand but you may as well burn it due to the extreme eye rolling and fake gagging coming from your children who would much rather fill the trolley with LCMs, Roll Ups and Cheezels. Your children ask what is planned for tea this week you tell them and the complaints roll out, "can't we have this instead?" "I hate that dinner!" "You always make that its so boring!" " "I'm not eating that!" Ignoring these comments and sticking to your guns you get what is needed for tea that week but end up at the freezers stocking up on fish fingers, pizza and chicken nuggets "just in case" they won't eat whats on offer when truly you will just chuck the oven on and put on the first thing you grab to save an argument. Getting to the checkout and the kids are so excited to "help" they start grabbing everything they can, squashing the bread, bruising the apples and unsealing yoghurt in the process. You guide the trolley to the car with your brood and are astonished none of you caused a mass trolley pile up in the car park. You get Maccas on the way home for tea.
So there you have my list of supermarket shoppers. I am certain there are more out there, but this was my list and experiences. I would love to hear yours and also which one are you?
Happy shopping guys!
Fi x
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