Were you so overwhelmed when you became a mum?? I was. I was surprised by how overwhelmed I was. When I had my first child at 23 I had already been working full time in childcare since I was 18. My career in Childcare came by accident and I was immediately good at it ( yep toot toot, totally blowing my horn here)
Anyway, I spent so much of my career up to the point of heading off for maternity leave helping and advising parents on how to care for their children. From routines, to separation, sleep, mealtimes and play and learning. I was so confident in my practice and knowledge and always learning ( still am).
When I had my daughter, the nurses in my hospital when they found out my profession took a "you know what your doing attitude". Don't get me wrong they were helpful, the only thing that I wasn't assisted on was breastfeeding (I had no idea). But they didn't hold my hand through those first few days with bub. I don't know if this is normal but this is how I felt and a few did actually say to me "you'll know what you're doing with your background"
Fast forward to being at home and I clearly remember my Mum coming over first thing in the morning and me still in my dressing gown cuddling my little girl. She smiled at us and said "how are you?" I started bawling!! I was so shell shocked and started ranting to her about "How dare I tell other parents how to raise their kids I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING!"
Looking back on that now I have a laugh to myself, but I seriously believed I was a total fraud!
What you do not expect as a new mum is that smack in the face emotional connection you get from this tiny bub. It affects your decision making, how you view the world, how you react to other people and what they say and do. The birth of motherhood is an emotional awakening, for some it is euphoric and wonderful for others it is scary and daunting. For me it was like a panic, a place between logic and love. All I had learned and knew about babies and children was from that of an objective outsider, not a mother. I was that calming third party reassuring parents and guiding them, who then became the anxious mother herself.
This is now of a benefit to me as I return to work, I have a new empathy and understanding for what parents go through. I have made new friends through parenthood exposing me to different family dynamics.
I guess the point of this post is that it is perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed, shocked and out of place when you first begin parenthood. Because emotionally you will never be prepared for it no matter how much knowledge you have and that is totally OK. As time passes you are faced with new challenges and will quite often feel overwhelmed. Finding your support network can help, somewhere you can be totally honest with how you are going without the fear of judgement. I believe we all want the best for our children and that we do make mistakes trying to figure out what that is.
Be kind to yourself, be kind to others and have your best intentions at heart. You'll be fine x
Fi x
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