Learning to Learn as I Go

So this year after the birth of my wee man I decided to focus on my fitness in a big way. After I had my daughter I started to look into my weight loss about a year and a half after her birth.
After babies was not my only venture into weight loss world. When I was 21 I joined a weight loss program as I was heavily overweight from bad food choices and very little exercise. During childhood I was very active playing outside, riding bikes, climbing trees. I played netball until I was 17 then foolishly quit to focus on VCE ( I wagged ALOT!)

I am not going to go through my journey but what I am going to get at is that I have made several attempts at this. From all of these attempts I learned something new about the process and also about myself.

To make the decision to take on a big change in your life is a daunting one. for me it was opening up to others and there is a level of embarrassment that goes along with admitting you have something that you feel needs changing. But if you can admit that, you are so much braver than you think you are!

After I had my daughter a friend of a friend was running small group training sessions in her back yard once a week it was lots of fun and I was surprised by how well I took to the training. I got excited and wrote down what we did each session and tried to make sure I did it twice more during the week along with going for a walk each day. For some reason the sessions had to stop and I had to find something new.

There was a brand spanking new gym opened up right near me. I got pamphlets in the mail constantly with some fairly good offers. I checked the finances and joined up ready to shed the baby weight. The package came with 4 PT sessions and assessment.
I was excited to have 1 on 1 time with a trainer, I picked my trainer from a list of names thinking I chose a woman but it was one of those unisex names and I was greeted by this mountain of a man. He was friendly enough but after a while I got this feeling he wasn't interested in helping me.

He asked me to keep a food diary at the very beginning. I did so and gave it to him at our next meeting. He said he would write me up a training plan. he didn't. We spent each session on a machine maybe him pressing a button here and there staring into space. This could have been just his way ( not good enough I would say now) or he didn't have the faith in me because of the way I looked to even give me a chance.

Back then I was too scared to speak up but now I would have definitely spoken up and said " hey this just isn't working for me" it really goes 2 ways My dedication is needed for results.

I had a chat to those around me and online and there is a general opinion that the attitudes go both ways. YOU have to want your change and your trainer has to want to be there to support you. I have worked with uninterested trainers and very passionate trainers and wow what a difference when someone is genuinely passionate about what they do. It is contagious.

It really is a sad thing that you may not feel like the people around you want to help or motivate you. The lesson I have learned from this through my own experiences and talking to others is that you can't change others. Only yourself. If you find you are in a place where you are thinking about how to get someone else to get results for you then you need to shake all that away and look to yourself and what you are willing to give a go.
Whatever little bit of change you make that can make you happy and feel good will affect those around you which will in turn drive you to continue along the road you are headed down. ALWAYS do it for you. Never forget it is up to you. I used to whinge that the gym was costing me money and I never got results. It's because I never went! duh!! Now I understand that if I am willing to pay for a product I have to use it properly to get my moneys worth. It is the only way I will get results.

I have enjoyed my wake up call this year, but it has been a process. I have had to learn little things at a time and build up my resilience to deal with setbacks and hiccups. It is never over you just learn something new for the next time.

Over my time I have learned :

I LOVE group training as opposed to one on one
I like being set a goal or a challenge
I HATE the gym and equipment like treadmills
I like getting up into the mountain for a walk
Eating a banana won't kill me ( seriously I ate my first one about a month ago )

What have you learned about yourself when you have tried something multiple times?

Fi

P.S
Here are some pics of me from about 10 years ago to today. Amazed at the change I have gone through over the years.

19 years old visiting Scotland and meeting my extended family for the first time. I ate alot and drank alot of alcohol!

Trip to QLD when I was 20. I remember being very uncomfortable and miserable when we went to the beach. 

Our Engagement Party I was 21 and decided to wear all black to hide everything

My Wedding I was 22. I went on a weight loss program to lose weight. I lost about 20 kg. I felt beautiful.

23 and Pregnant with #1

24 here. I lost all my baby weight and them some through a mix of PT and a low calorie diet ( lots of 99% fat free packages in my house hold) and also stress. I felt I looked great but was a bit of a wreck internally.

27 years old and 36 weeks pregnant with #2 in false labor just hanging out at the hospital as you do. I swear this is the most enormous I have ever seen myself!! I managed to hold on for 3 more LONG weeks and 5 days.

Me now ( well not right now, right now I am currently in trackies and an old woolly jumper). 28 years old 13 months after my son was born. This is the best I think I have ever felt. Both inside and out. I eat more than ever and better than ever, I move more and I am becoming less and less anxious and stressed about things. I also got a cool photo filter app so I had to have a play with it!

This song got me thinking

Those songs that make you feel good. Those girly songs that make you feel good to be a woman.

I have been home with laryngitis this week :( It sucks and I am writing this from my parents house as I hide away and let the hubby take care of the bath time craziness at home. 

Today I listened to Colby Caillat's song "TRY" I love this song and the video too. It just represents to me being your self and I love the lyric "When you're all alone, by yourself
Do you like you? Do you like you?"  It just rings true to me. a decade ago i would have answered no but now I say yep I sure do!

 I remember being a teenager and doing things that I thought would make people like me better (nothing seedy) because I thought that was what you did. I stressed about how I looked and spent too much time doing my hair or would pack all the makeup and extra clothes I could so I could rush off and change if what I had on wasn't the same as what everyone else had on. 

I have the fascination with what makes people the way they are but when I was younger I was fascinated for the wrong reasons. Reasons like if I find out how she does this or that I'll be liked better. 

Now, I am just curious for curiosities sake or practicality like my weird fascination with domestic routines please refer to my What was I thinking house hold systems post. I don't take these things so seriously anymore or at least I haven't for quite some time and I hope that's the end of it. I am not envious of the Mum with the thermomix, the girl with the washboard stomach, the woman who overcame her teenage acne ( I am nearly 30! enough with the pimples already!) 

I enjoy getting out and exercising it makes ME feel good. I feel good when I spend extra time in the bathroom giving my hair some extra attention just for ME. I don't have a full length mirror in my room mainly due to laziness but I only really check it if I am headed out somewhere fancy to make sure my undies aren't peeking out or something.  It's good so long as I am clean and don't smell I am happy. 

By all means taking pride in my appearance is something my Mum has instilled in me but I see that as being neat and clean ( although I am a daily wearer of a messy bun so, so easy). I want to bring my children up to be true to themselves and not let what's on the surface be what makes them. Foundations are what build strength and character.

What do you listen to that brings out feelings of empowerment? Share with me I want to make a playlist, one for when you go on a long walk/run and just get lost in the lyrics and your own thoughts. Maybe for getting you going when you are in two minds about getting the housework done.

Fi

x

What Was I Thinking? Household Systems

I like routine and schedule and being able to anticipate how my day is going to go. Although I am not so good at executing it most days. I am a crazy nut who likes trying system after system to see if it is effective and will make my day and my life run more smoothly. I'll tell you this now, what doesn't make things run better is constantly trying new systems. I still haven't gotten it through my head though. Some systems I have tried to no avail include:

In the Laundry:

• Attempting a washing roster. How on earth do you start? I did all my washing so I could start fresh but then I had to wait for washing to pile up and then the washing I had waiting for me was not allocated to that day. It was such a dilemma. It's not a towel day but they are there, it's Andrew's day but there is 1 sock. I honestly freaked out about this.
• Washing clothing by person rather than separating. I thought for a little while it was going well and it was, sort of. But my whites were dulling and I wasn't comfortable with not separating my loads and I ended up not wanting to share the washing line with another persons clothing. 
• Freeing up cupboard space by putting all my cleaning stuff on the laundry bench. My cupboard was empty, the bench where I sort the washing was covered in cleaners and rags and power tools. That was just silly.

Kitchen

• I decided I didn't need the wonderful dishwasher and that I could wash all dishes as I went throughout my day. Yep what the dickens was I thinking?? My sink was always shiny though I'll give you that but what a time killer.
• Bye Bye utensil pots. While I do enjoy a clear bench top my utensil drawer is a huge mess now. I'll get on that eventually ( I really will!! honest)
• Keeping the kettle in a cupboard when not in use. That lasted all of 30 minutes.
• Plants. They died.
• Keeping my crockery in the pantry and the food stuffs in the cupboard under the bench. That just confused everyone. Even me.
• right now I need tea and coffee storage. My herbal teas are on display and the tea coffee and sugar are in a basket in the pantry.

Living Room: I have 2 living areas ( I know lucky me) But I seriously miss our old unit that was like a cottage with 1 massive living area, I loved it.
 The dilemma was how much of it do I give to the kids? How much is for adults? Here begins my never ending quest of shifting the furniture again and again to find the perfect configuration. I swear my husband is going to nail the furniture down one of these days. Either he comes home from work and the house is switched around or we will be cosy on the couch it's nearly 10pm and I have the urge to move the furniture. This urge cannot be stopped. I have inherited this from my Mother and it will never leave me.

Bedrooms:
Toy storage. Need I say more? I have come to believe it's not how you store your child's toys it's all about the education of packing up. Oh I hear you laughing at this one. It is that never ending battle isn't it. I love how very young toddlers think packing up is the best thing ever. With enough enthusiasm you can have a tidy bedroom in no time. We need to bottle that stuff! We need to pinpoint when the enthusiasm for packing up leaves us in childhood and put a stop to it!

I always make the bed. At some stage. I know when I am on an organisational roll when I have the bed made first thing. I get up make the bed and get to it. I know when I am in a slump when I completely forget that I had stripped the bed that day and it's almost midnight I am struggling to get to my bedroom and I flick the light on and I see the horror that is a naked bed that I have to dress. Just the worst! I cannot sleep in an unmade bed either. I have actually made my husband get up so I can make the bed before I get in it. *crazy*

I am not saying systems are bad. I have some that work great for me. But the point is sometimes they just don't work when we want them to. There is no one size fits all. Admit defeat, try something else and don't obsess over it. You will get there.

What systems just didn't work for you?
Tell me your success story!

Lets Stick Together Ladies!

It has come to my attention lately the impact of positive support among women.

Is the bond becoming stronger between our peers ?

I hope so, because while I have noticed the competitiveness among mothers and one upping on who has it harder, I am feeling more and more inclined to support my peers rather than compete. I also find it weird that hardship is something you want to be best at. You know what, we all have bad days no matter how good or bad our situation is we get days where we feel like we have been dragged through shit and back again and that is OK.

I have been fortunate enough to be on someones mind as they were worried about me. I have truly been OK but they saw I wasn't my "usual self" and asked me about it and also had a bunch of flowers (not necessary but lovely and as a new flower opens each day I am reminded how lucky I am to have such a caring friend).

A few articles have crossed my path recently highlighting our attitudes towards one another. One about forecasting harder times ahead when you merely pass a comment about a current mothering hardship, does Facebook help or hinder new mothers, and the "anti bitch revolution" over at Life Love and Hiccups . I am getting on that "anti bitch" bandwagon! Now I am not perfect and have definitely put on my judgy jumper and bitchy boots from time to time but maybe as I get older and wiser ( he-he that's funny), I see no use in it. This negative attitude is draining and gets you no where. I try to see things from a more positive perspective. If I say something can it have a positive outcome or will it leave that person feeling worse? So I want to be positive.

Keep an eye out for each other, listen to your friend if they need to get something off their chest. Allow and appreciate when someone is having a bad day, don't make it about you, but if you can, see eye to eye and relate.

Let's support our Mothers' in Arms, we all want the best for our kidlets and go about it in different ways and that is OK. We all have our strengths, some mums keep a great house, others can cook with kids in the kitchen without breaking a sweat, some are absolute superstars at the park and some can handle a temper tantrum like a boss, admire your friends strengths, learn from each other and balance out the equation.

How do you keep things positive among the women in your life?
What examples can we set for our children?
Who are your wonder woman role models?

Fi
x

Tanty Tales Follow Up

Ok so it has been about a week or 2 since I removed the toys from Little Madame's room. After she woke up from the much needed sleep we had a mixture of results she was tired and snuggly but still ready to put up a good fight against packing up the toys. Over the course of the next few days things improved slowly but surely. My gorgeous girl was asking for what activity she wanted but stilll in need of prompting to pack up ( hey she's 4 what 4 year old doesn't).
I am noticing with less distraction in her room of an overwhelming amount of toys a calmer play time. I am seeing her persist in a challenge and more allowance for her imagination to roam free. I have also noticed that I am more willing to join in the play and she is more than willing to help me around the house. In one marvelous afternoon where I had some cooking to be done she asked for her big bucket of stuffed toys. She played happily, I wouldn't say quietly but I didn't mind. After a while she asked me for another activity as if like a robot without looking up I replied " OK but you need to pack up your toys first" looking up from the bench and I see that without prompting, without fuss, the toys had been packed up before she asked me for a new game. I was so proud and impressed! She earned back some toys that day and she was so proud of herself. After tea she also helped to wash her dishes in the sink! I was amazed! Now I did not "reward" each piece of good behaviour with putting toys back in her room. But she did get one activity back. I gave her praise and encouragement and we told Daddy about having made such good choices.

GOOD CHOICES. This is what has stuck. Making her realise that her choices affect her. By not getting angry myself and losing my you know what ( I know its hard not to lose it I really do) has helped in me teaching her that her choices have an effect. But it's not my problem it's hers. By her motivation being if she makes good choices it will work out well for her, she is more inclined to make better decisions. How do you do this? By not making her shortfalls my problem. I don't mean walking away and leaving her to deal with it but by not making it about me, by not getting upset because it annoys me but making a focus on say if she doesn't pack up she can't have fun doing the next activity. It affects her totally. Her good choices will have a positive effect and her poor choices will have a negative effect.

A proudly made bed

The next step in this I am going to take is to go through her things and keep what is necessary. I am going to take a risk here and do it without her. I know from experience that she would have a hard time letting go of things so I am going to reduce her toys a little bit not too much and begin to return them to her room. Today she was so proud of herself for making her bed and yesterday we spent a wonderful time in the driveway drawing a peppa pig mural and cooking with debris from the garden.

Even though removing the toys from my daughter's room was an act to punish her for less than desirable behaviour, what has come out of it has truly been a positive. We are both learning from this endeavour and I am running with it. After I vacuumed the other day she out of the blue picked up some attachments "let me help you Mummy" and helped me carry them to the laundry. I was so touched by this completely selfless act of kindness from my gorgeous girl. Perhaps this is something you may feel you could try at home?


Things I see my daughter learning:

• Perseverance and persistence
• Imagination
• Helping others before herself
• Looking after her own well being

Things I am learning

• To take time away from the grind to be with my children
• Take a step back during disagreements with my child to really assess what is happening before I react
• Acknowledge good behaviour  

Thanks for reading!

Fi xx

Tanty Tales

I look back on my time as a child carer and scoff that I gave out advice sometimes. Especially right now after an epic tantrum from my Little Madame that has resulted in her falling asleep 1 hour before tea time. I took some drastic measures after her behaviour became less than favourable over the last few days. I began to not see my lovely little girl but a girl who only thought about what she could get for herself. I didn't like it especially when she was so demanding and dare I say ungrateful. I decided it is high time she appreciates what she has instead of always thinking about what she could get next. I have removed all her toys from her room except for her books and her cd player. She has been told she can choose one activity at a time and when she would like something else her current activity must be packed away once she is finished with it. She chose to keep her dolls and doll house furniture and then on day 2 of this venture she decided she would like to use the blocks and train set. I told her that she could but before she begins she must go and pack up her dolls and furniture. Then it begins!!! She began to tidy and because I was feeding the baby I was unable to help if she needed it. I explained this to her and when she had trouble she got very loudly frustrated. I asked her to come and tell me what the problem was and we can work it out together. Little Madam began demanding me quite rudely to help her screaming and carrying on so I told her I would not be helping her because of the way she spoke to me. Well, the "I hate you's" came out after this and that she only wanted Daddy to live here ( he'll be chuffed to hear that lol). Little Madam decided to put herself to bed but her bedroom light was on and after screaming at me to turn off her light I explained to her once again I will not be doing this for her because of the way she has spoken to me. She got up and turned the light off herself. I walked away to leave her be as she really needed the time to calm down. I went back a few minutes later she was lying there eyes open I spoke to her saying she is being taught a lesson that will help her as she grows. I am happy to help her always but there are times when she needs to do things for herself. I explained also that her little brother is going to have to learn to do things for himself when he gets bigger too, and that I do a lot of packing up on my own (including messes that she has made). I made sure to tell her that she is such a smart girl and she shouldn't waste her brightness on being rude and demanding but put it towards being strong and kind. I went to go get Little Man ready for bed as I passed her room she was asleep and still is. I gave her a kiss tucked her in and closed her door over to give her some peace. I do not feel guilty for the way I have handled the situation, I kept calm but wasn't cold. I now just have to wait for her to wake. I have 3 scenarios in my head. 1. she wakes up and gives me a kiss and cuddle we go to her room and finish packing up ( I help a little bit). 2. she wakes up grumpier than ever demanding food, screaming at bathtime and in a mexican standoff waiting for these bloody toys to be put away. 3. She sleeps until the morning, wakes up in a good mood, has her brekky, packs up the toys and we enjoy a nice day of errands and groceries. I am hoping for 1 or 3 but anticipating 2. I'll let you know how I go :)

How have you handled terrible tantrums? What do you do after the dust has settled?

Fi
xx

HI!!!!! So this is my first post here on my blog. I went live a week or so ago but kept thinking about how was best to start and get the ball rolling. Waiting for inspiration to come and lift me away on this amazing cloud where all the words would come together. I GOT NOTHING!! But  I figure if I just start that's the only way things will happen. So here I am on the lounge room floor with my bread and olive dip ( my latest food addiction) just typing away.

So I am on the floor here because currently we are in the process of creating an office in our 4th bedroom. Until now it began as our master bedroom then when I fell pregnant we decided to shift into what use to be the playroom and also double the size of our current room. there was hardly room for our bed in the master let alone the baby. So we emptied out the room, sanded, painted and moved in, turning the old master into the play room. 

here you can see the original playroom and then the turning it into the master. I like Green so we painted it green.

play room before it was turned into our master

Getting the master ready

Once the office is complete we will no longer have a "spare room" every room will have a purpose and I am so excited for this. As long as I can remember we have had a junk room and knowing there is a closed door with piles of junk behind it made me rather anxious.  so over the course of about 3 going on 4 days I have been clearing the room out, it all started by clearing out the clutter mainly old toys. I made piles TOSS DONATE DISTRIBUTE. Distributed stuff meant taking it to what ever room I wanted the item to live.
 It took me a while but I finally got my living room back to normal but the bedrooms a little worse for wear. Day 3 saw me getting Little Madame's room back to normal but a little rearranged. I have to regularly remind her to not fall out off bed because i move it around her room so much. Poor little poppet. I put her tall boy dresser in her wardrobe and it has created more room for playing in there. If you have tall furniture in your house please please please make sure you fix it to your walls. When Little Madame was 2 her dresser fell  on her, we are so lucky she came out of it uninjured but there are children out there who have suffered major injury and lost lives to this terrible type of accident. We called the ambos and she was fine thank goodness.
Anyhoo I still am yet to find homes for the baby toys that are in my Little Man's room so I have got to get cracking on that. I can't wait to share the completed study. Currently we are at the stage where we are getting prepared to paint so I need to pick a colour. I am thinking green, grey or blue. There is a lovely large window looking out to our front garden and mountain that we live at the foot of.

I will return with updated progress of OPERATION OFFICE in due course. Enjoy the ride folks!!

Fi

xx