When I went back to work round one, my girl was 14 months old and I jumped in 4 days a week ready to progress in my career. Boy was I in trouble. As much as I wanted to do well in my career I still wanted to be that perfect mum at home and maintain a routine for my little baby girl. I struggled for over a year denying to myself the fact I wasn't coping and the cracks opened slowly but surely. My judgement was compromised and I was so tired. I didn't have a plan, financial reasons aside I didn't have a true purpose for returning to work and it affected me and drained me. It all came to a head when we bought our first home and I had a proper meltdown as we were moving in. I handed in my resignation and took a break for a few months.
Round 2 came about when I returned to working only a few days on an on call basis, the money was good and I could dictate my hours, but I didn't belong anywhere. I am the kind of person who needs to belong somewhere be a part of a team and this type of work just didn't suit me. I was completely void of any motivation and was just going through the motions.
I began to look for something permanent part time but I just didn't have any luck finding somewhere that I felt I belonged or fitted in with my own philosophies. I stuck it out at an average job for about 6 months and then was to surprised to find I was pregnant with our second child. The whirlwind of pregnancy number two began and I wound up collapsing one day at the shops and deemed unfit to work by my GP.
I had my son in the October and life with 2 children began. I wanted to make more of an effort to get out into the world and in the following March I went to Mums n Bubs fitness classes, something I had no idea about when I had our girl and really wish I did. This became a great incentive for me to get organised for the morning and get out the house. It was something I wanted to do and I looked forward to it. As time passed the gym I trained at needed a childcare worker and I put my hand up, the hours were short and manageable and in a place I already felt I belonged and would be supported. My perspective on work changed from there and for 3 and a bit years I worked looking after children at the gym and also gaining my fitness certification. It was fun to learn about something new that has always been a hobby of mine. I began working as a group fitness instructor as well as looking after the kids in the gym and I was really enjoying myself. After a while I felt like something was missing.
On outings I would over hear staff mainly in the shops or cafes talking about their day and who was on what break next, you know general work chit chat and starting to REALLY miss my old job of working in a long daycare. I began to make a plan! How many days could I do to enjoy myself, make it financially worthwhile and get some progression in my career? I decided 3 days was the magic number and also set my hours firm to suit me. I began applying, due to the limitations of my working availability it did take a few months but I ended up finding employment. Once I accepted the offer I became anxious, questioning whether I can do this and how to make it work. My worries were all about the fear of burnout, my kids getting overtired, and becoming grumpy all the time. I made the decision if this did happen as a family we regroup and form a new strategy.
So it has been almost 2 months now and we have all hit the wall of fatigue whilst we adjust to the new schedule, we have all had some time home sick, have come full circle and I believe things are going OK. I actually look forward to going to work, I am enjoying myself and have already made some progression in my job which is awesome.
I am mindful to be kind to the kids in the evening, they don't feel like eating a traditional dinner on our late nights so as long as they eat and eat with a bit of balance, enjoy their evening and go to bed happy, then I am happy.
So my tips from what I have learned in my own life would be:
- Analyse your reasons for going back to work, if it is a financial goal, a professional goal, to have a break from being home or to start a new career. Having a goal or incentive will help you enjoy your time in the workforce and bring value to what you are doing.
- Really think about the hours and days you want to work and how that will fit into your current lifestyle and other family members. My hours meant our eldest goes to after school care, something I was reluctant to do but has been alright so far.
- Don't over commit yourself. Don't offer 5 days if your are unsure start small and add on as you go if you think you can manage
- Don't over stress being the perfect homemaker, make dinner easy on work nights, use the slow cooker, batch cook, or just do sandwiches fruit and yoghurt. Fed kids are happy kids but this by no means says you have to have a roast on the table every night. We save our big cooked dinners for Friday through Monday
- Look after yourself. do little things that help you switch off and reboot each day. Personally I like to read. I get cosy with my book and just disappear for a while.
Leave me a comment below on your experiences or over on my Instagram @findingfiforme I would love to hear how you made the return to work work for your family or if you are thinking about doing so!
Fi x
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