Ours was more bad than good. It really looked like in the beginning we were getting our shit together and taking control on some stuff we just weren't loving. My husband was not all that happy in his job and sought to change that, we saw an opportunity to better our financial situation and put that in motion, I was on my way to completing a course and our little girl was enjoying the new challenge that was Grade 1. Our son was happy most of the time as long as we have Thomas The Tank Engine around in one way or another and a never ending supply of sultanas.
So we were on a course to take control of certain things and make changes that would improve our lives.
2016 had different plans for me and my family. On top of the plethora of celebrities passing away this year, the blows came for us hard and fast.
I really feel like 2016 was one of those years that was meant for us to really be mindful of how we handle situations beyond our control. As much as we dissect and analyse our year so much of the negativity was beyond our control. How we handled it though, was entirely up to us. We had other people close to us who were also at the mercy of 2016 and it's unique way of saying "hang on, you thought last week was bad. Wait for it...."
So it wasn't just us, and while within the privacy of our own home we had moments of feeling sad and sorry, moments we were done with it all and moments where we had no intention of coming out of our low mood, feeling as though we didn't deserve to.
Being with friends and family who also had difficult issues going on throughout the year though, we learned to be so honest with each other and accepting that we just could be with each other to help lift our spirits. We all had a hard time we were going through and regardless of what it was, we knew each other felt down and we could be there for each other. I am really so very grateful for those people this year. A simple night of cooking a meal together or grabbing a pizza and playing Cards Against Humanity really helped ( seriously play that game it's great!)
Some people we knew we having a great year. Something I noticed. I wasn't jealous or envious I was happy for my friends, that is such a nice feeling to be able to find joy from other peoples good fortune even though our own good fortune seemed to be a distant fantasy. While we desperately want for things to go in our favour we did not drag others down with us, we found joy in their joy and that really helped us to keep going through the harder times. It promoted positive conversation for a time and shifted our focus which was always helpful.
As you could expect we set our sights on 2017 as 2016 started to come to a close. We were excited and put plans in motion for what we wanted out of our lives and also looking at our priorities.
We wanted to ring in the new year quietly and had a BBQ with friends near our house it was simple and fun. New Years Day the first day of OUR YEAR! 2017 IS OUR YEAR!
We are excited but also vulnerable, and that vulnerability was no more as exposed than at 4pm on New Years Day when our eldest broke her arm riding a bike. Seeing our baby broken, scared and in pain was so horrible and keeping our fear and panic to ourselves was excruciating.
She broke her arm quite badly and required surgery and as we waited we felt utterly defeated. I sobbed while my husband who has tried so hard to be a strength for our family, hid his head as the tears welled up at the thought of his little girl broken and in surgery not knowing what will happen. I tend to be OK in medical situations and I can trust in those who are treating my loved ones, but my husband's low took it's toll on me and I felt his pain along with mine and our little girl's. Our daughter had seen enough of hospitals in the past 12 months.
So 2017 has begun, and not in the way we had been hoping. In light of this I see it as we are starting from the bottom. The only way is up from here. It is up to us in how we respond to circumstances beyond our control and for one thing I am proud of us as a family for trying to make the best of a bad situation and having a good attitude. We have cried and felt the lowest of lows but we are not staying in that place.
So what did the lows of 2016 teach me?
- Allow yourself to feel your feelings, express them and talk about them
- Find solace in your friends. Don't overload them with your shit but know they are there for you and you for them. Order a pizza, play a game and just be together
- If you can don't stay in that sad place allow the low feelings to come and be expressed and then be productive and handle your life. If you feel like you just can't shake the dark feelings go see your GP and explain how your feeling, they have the resources to find you some help should you need it.
- Remember it isn't permanent, you will feel better one day. Just take things one day at a time.
- if you have kids try your hardest to see the joy in the simple things with them, be present and take it all in, (I know how hard this can be when all seems to be turning to shit) these little people can be our greatest teachers.
I hope you have a wonderful 2017, I really truly do!
Fi xx
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